A reflection on hearing loss

I grew up with disabilities pertaining to communication.

Speech impediment, auditory processing disorder and dyslexia what fun!

There still with me today of course, but I have always felt limited by them, inferior, and with less of an ability to contribute to the transformation of humanity than others. My contributions were limited by my disability.

That is what we are taught by the this dying order of our culture, you must fit into the perfect form, you must be “eloquent in your speech” to be a full contributor and to be respected.

When I Was first diagnosed with hearing loss my first thought was “oh God one more thing I can’t communicate as it is now I can’t hear them as well as I understand them.”

Why do i fall for this false paradigm?

Unity in diversity, not uniformity, is the goal, it is the Law.

Each person is different we all have abilities and we all have disabilities depending on who makes the decision.

Perhaps you can lead a group discussion, talk at ease in a crowd, remember every detail and i can’t. So I’m not eloquent in my speech, I say things wrong on a regular basis, I don’t always read well and I read very slow, and now I can’t quite hear what you say. So what. You can’t do everything I can do, and my contributions matter.

Maybe there is something i can do you cannot or maybe not but it doesn’t matter because my contributions to this Cause matter, or i would not have been summed to It.

Thy letter was received. Thou has written ‘I am not worthy.’ Who is worthier than thee? Hast thou not been worthy, thou wouldst not have turned to God and wouldst not have wished to enter the Kingdom.

Thy worthiness has guided thee until this blessing and bounty have encompassed thee.

Abdul-bahá Fire and Gold pg 212

Advertisements

Humility

I am sitting here studying humility and habits of humble people as reported in Forbes and research. Going over it, studying it and how do I make myself more humble assume “The Humble Posture of Learning” that we are supposed to aspire to; and then I realized the first step towards humility is the realization that Yes you are worthy of what you have been called to do; Yes you have a contribution, and No you don’t need to prove to anyone what you know or what you can accomplish you just need to act in the best way possible.

To work with diligent patience.

Extrovert/intravert

extrovert

: one whose personality is characterized by extroversion; broadly : a gregarious and unreserved person

also I have heard that an extrovert gets their energy from other people, instead of isolation as an introvert.

However you put it i am a extrovert. But how does this relate to being in the Bahá’í community?

So much of this blog has become about me explain my relationship with the community and how i relate as a Bahai; very damaged but still a Baha’i.

I am in a community of people I wouldn’t hang out with normally a natural gravitation runs in our culture. This creates difficulties! It seems many of us play in very, very different fields and sometimes I just want to take my toys and go play by myself!

I know that that is one of also the benefits of this faith expanding our comfort zones into areas we had never contemplated.

One of the things I know about myself is that when I am nervous or uncomfortable I talk continuously. I seem to do a lot of talking at Baha’i events. Making me a great test for some of the other believers. But sometimes just trying to stay active in community life is a very large test for me.

The energy we expend in enduring the intolerance of some individuals of our community is not lost. It is transformed into fortitude, steadfastness and magnanimity.

(Shoghi Effendi, Lights of Guidance, p. 603)

One of the greatest problems in the Cause is the relation of the believers to each other; for their immaturity (shared with the rest of humanity) and imperfections retard the work, create complications, and discourage each other. And yet we must put up with these things and try and combat them through love, patience and forgiveness individually, and proper administrative action collectively.

(Shoghi Effendi, The Unfolding Destiny of the British Bahá’í Community, p. 449)

The Cause is manifest, it shineth resplendent as the sun, but the people have become veils unto themselves. We entreat God that He may graciously assist them to return unto Him. He is, in truth, the Forgiving, the Merciful.

(Bahá’u’lláh, Tablets of Bahá’u’lláh, p. 79)

The friends must be patient with each other and must realize that the Cause is still in its infancy and its institutions are not yet functioning perfectly. The greater the patience, the loving understanding and the forbearance the believers show towards each other and their shortcomings, the greater will be the progress of the whole Bahá’í community at large.

(From a letter dated 27 February 1943 written on behalf of Shoghi Effendi to an individual believer)

The current quest is to find a few people just to be with, who are OK with my quirky nature. To find a relaxed posture. I hope to find path of service with them, because even the Baha’is I don’t get along with that Is what ties us as a community. How do we serve Bahá’u’lláh and humanity?

Memory of my Dad

When i was in my teens a event was planned called Hands Across America (yes i am dating myself.). The Baha’i youth planned on going downtown to participate but said i couldn’t go with them. The organizers had put a call that people were needed in areas outside of town. My dad said if you are going to help you go to the place in most need. So the whole family went out to edge of town with a small group of other people, connected by ropes.

Everyone downtown was on the news, a big party, snaking through the streets, and we were out in the heat and sun, barely able to reach each other.

Go where the need is!

Now i remember this as my daughter is seeking a veterinary internship outside the US. The door that opened for her was not a premium one but a spay/neuter clinic in Puerto Rico. I feel my dad’s hand in this guiding her as he does me.

walking dead

Do you watch The Walking Dead?

Every day

they walked on the street

with meth and heroin

In their veins

ecstasy rolls through them

drunk on the

latest bottle

Holes eaten in their brain

until they can’t think

or reason

it is only the next fix

they look for

they are

The Walking Dead

they are the ones

who drugs replace their

soul